Hello Guys

HI ,

I am back. So I have been gone for a year now ? I am doing fine now I think. Recently I got few episodes of mental breakdown but all due to my assignment like ya hell. I went back Malaysia for Raya now I am poor as fuck. Anyway life update.

I got back with my ex, all happen after I to try talk and found out the true and did help me a lot. Is my choice really I wanna get back and forgive. I don't regret even there are people asking if I am sure. Life is worth a risk. If he gonna waste my few years of my youth why not? Is not that I am getting marry. He did rush me to get marry soon the reasons I don't want to is I am busy finishing my diploma now and next year finger cross get into Uni maybe? I hope Uni accept me tho, this is the life of a 21 lady worrying about everything like she is in mid 30.

Tolong aku betul betul nak cepat habis belajar masuk alam kerja then jumpa manusia yg bertopeng.  Macam mana wei kalau uni yg entry requirement rendah pun tk benarkn aku masuk. Aku bukan la bodoh sgt tapi aku apply 5 uni. Like semua uni top 100 sial yg aku apply. So like 3 of them the entry requirement are really high and there are good uni in UK. 2 lagi uni biasa biasa mcm backup la. Aku just harap dapat tawaran dri 2 uni tu sblm habis course tak ada aku risau sangat. Mampu ke aku carry course aku di uni nanti. I am really stressing myself out. Aku sekarang tgh buat diploma Business course express ni so boleh byngkn assignment aku camna kan? like org ambik 2 tahun aku ambik lebih kurang dari 1 tahun. So push assignments bagi siap, kaki last minute. System college pulak mcm tak teratur . Dalam course aku ni yg start dri bulan 9 lecture aku da dua org da tinggalkn course.
HAHA cikgu pun meluat dgn kami semua. Kawan sma group dgn aku pulak sebulan tak muncul, like aku rasa ala tak mungkin akan ada student like dropout kan. Memang la susah sikit tapi tak teruk kowt.

My expectation is wrong, ada Budak betul betul nak dropout. Next semester memang byk muka yg hilang. Aku just harap aku ni mampu masuk Uni je. Like sekarang memang aku busy busy smpai takde masa nak gado dgn mif. Like baru baru ada gado sikit dgn mif bnda remah cmtu aku takda masa nk gi pujuk bukan sbb tak syg tapi aku tak ada masa. Imagine la satu hari aku minum 2-3 kopi . But the worst thing is I am addicted to pubg mobile. Like dulu pernh addicted smpai pagi bru tido now aku start main . Teruk gak hari hari wajib main tambuh pulak ada kawan dlm tu. Usually aku main dgn geng Indonesia sbb diaorg friendly, korang ingt semua Indonesian benci Malaysian ke ? Aku pernh main dgn geng Malaysia serious perngai yg pentingkn diri nak mampus terus main dgn bdk Indonesia. Tapi ada juga geng team org  Malaysiakn. Polish Bahasa kedah and Bahasa Indonesia at the same time. Aku dah lama tak cakap bhsa Indonesia, recently my grandma belah Indonesia past away even kami tak berapa rapat but org dia sangat baik da hmpir 10 thun aku tak jejak ke tanah Medan waktu balik Malaysia aku teman mama balik . I hope my mama is doing fine now is a painful lost for all of us.

Kali ni aku balik Malaysia, aku jumpa geng aku, kami ambik gambr pose sebijik mcm waktu kat high school. Rupanya aku da makin tua, hahahahaha dan makin gemuk. I think dlm sethun ni aku struggle dgn hormone badly but sekarang lepas aku stop consume hormone tu .Bdn aku mcm slowly restart balik, so yup is a good news. Aku balik Malaysia dpt jumpa penerima hati Carmen, dia bawak stethoscope for me to listen to the heartbeat and we manage to have chat about organ donation and the struggle is real before and after. So is really eye opening. Bye nk tido esok smbung assignments .